Archive for March, 2009

having eyes but not seeing

Tuesday, March 31st, 2009

It is 9:18 am in the flow of life. I am not in the basement, but sitting in the dining room writing on my lap top. Carol came home from work and has gone to bed for the day. She has to be at the hospital at 7 o’clock pm tonight.

I got up when Carol got home from work, which was around 8:15 am. I got up and made a pot of coffee and sat waking up to another day. I have no plans for the day. The day will go by like all other days. May the Lord have mercy on us.

Last night I watched television from 7:30 pm till 11 o’clock pm. I took a shower before going to bed. I read till Midnight “Private Thoughts on Religion” by Rev. Thomas Adams. I read also yesterday some more of “The Magic Mountain” by Thomas Mann. I went to our local public library yesterday and checked out another translation of “The Magic Mountain” (this novel was first written in German).

I am still reading “We Become What We Worship: A Biblical Theology Of Idolatry” by G. K. Beale. I am still reading through the Bible. I am waiting for my new commentary on the Book of Deuteronomy to come in at Jude3 Christian bookstore.

I really have nothing pressing on my mind this morning. I do not know what I will do with myself today? Outside it is gray and cold. It is suppose to rain today sometime.

There is no place to go today. There is nothing to do worth doing today. I should get another cup of coffee and read my Bible.

Well I will close to wander my cage.

music: Neko Case “Middle Cyclone”

heavenly-minded life

Monday, March 30th, 2009

It is 11:18 AM late Monday morning in the flow of existence. I am down in the basement writing on my lap top drinking coke and listening to music. I just got back from a long hike at the Upper Macatawa Natural Area. This morning I walked the whole natural area. It is 600 acres of old farm land. Most the natural area is wet lands. The Macatawa River flows through the natural area. This time of year the land is wet and muddy. This morning I wore my snow boots so I would not cover my shoes with mud. I did not take Rudy with me. I went alone this morning for a walk in the woods.

Carol left this morning to visit her mother and do errands.

I got up this morning around 6:45 PM. I went to bed last night around 10 o’clock PM and read till late “The Magic Mountain” by Thomas Mann.

I have no plans for the rest of the day. I should the Bible as we head for the end of the american empire.

Last night we called our son Josiah and talked to him. It is a blessing when one is loved unconditionally. My desire is to be accepted for who I am. I know I am a mess, but who is perfect? I hate having to defend who I am. I just want to be left alone to be me In Christ Jesus.

Carol goes back to work tonight, so she will sleep this afternoon till 6:30 PM. I should read the Bible and pray. This morning I read so more of the book “Private Thoughts on Religion” by Rev. Thomas Adams (1701-1784).

I will close since Carol is home.

music: Bonnie ‘Prince’ Billy “Beware”

poverty of spirit

Sunday, March 29th, 2009

“III. It is this deep and abiding sense of internal sin, which lays the foundation for that all-important grace of a Christian’s humility. To live under a daily consciousness, that in him “dwelleth no good thing;” if this will not humble us, it will be hard to say what will. Hence also the grace of God and his Christ, so suitably adapted to his wants and his miseries, and the scriptural views of the Gospel, become so unspeakably precious to his heart. Hither he is obliged continually to repair for relief and support, and he is not disappointed. The poverty of spirit which this view of things excites in his soul, gives the true relish to his Christian food, and the consolations of divine forgiveness and mercy become the sweetest cordial to his heart. Thus he may in one view be always sorrowful, in another always rejoicing. It will not now be difficult to conceive, that still Wisdom’s ways are pleasant ways, and all her paths are peace; though, to a mind jaundiced by pride, all things will bear a melancholy hue.

And if it be a joyful and pleasant thing to be thankful, the gratitude hence excited towards his God and Redeemer, will repay itself in a feast of the sincerest pleasure. Forgiveness of injuries will, comparatively speaking, grow an easy and pleasant duty to him who daily feels his infinite obligation to a God of forgiveness. Liberality, long-suffering, and genuine universal benevolence, do obviously grow out of the same soil. And because the indwelling conscupiscence still stains every work, and is the chief burden of the Christian’s life, hence heaven is desired with ardour inexpressible; covetousness and the love of the world are dethroned in his heart; and that spirit of living for the world to come, and not for this, in which Mr. Adam most eminently excelled, and in which the generality of even true Christians are pitiably defective, will thrive in the soul, in proportion as it grows in a sense of indwelling sin. . .” pg.55-57
from the Preface of “Private Thoughts on Religion” by Rev. Thomas Adams

It is 5:25 PM I still recommend the book “Private Thoughts on Religion” by Rev. Thomas Adams. We should read the writings of the saints. I find it interesting seeking to discover what is true spirituality.

music: Pearl Jam “Ten” [Legacy Edition]

we serve in the new way of the Spirit

Sunday, March 29th, 2009

It is 3:35 PM Sunday afternoon in the flow of existence [Life]. Carol said last night to me I always look Pensive (”engaged in deep thoughtfulness” “suggesting or expressing deep often melancholy thought” “Synonyms: pensive, contemplative, reflective. These describe the quality or nature of being mentally or spiritually preoccupied, usually in a quiet way but one which is or would be apparent to other people”).

Carol went to bed and I have been doing the usual stuff. Right now I am down in the basement writing and drinking a mocha. I have these two books next to me—

“Private Thoughts on Religion” by Rev. Thomas Adams (1701-1784)

“Paul’s Letter to the Romans: A Socio-Rhetorical Commentary” by Ben Witherington III

Last night I got out some of my NT commentaries on Romans because of something I read in “Private Thoughts on Religion”-I will quote some of what I read written in the Preface of the book.—”In the first place, however strange to many it may seem, that so confessedly good man should complain so deeply of his sinfulness all his days, it must be insisted on that there is nothing in it unscriptural. The doctrines and views of divine revelation all confirm the propriety of it. From them it is evident, that true holiness, and a true growth in holiness, are ever attended with such a sense of indwelling sin. Let any man carefully attend to St. Paul speaking of himself in Romans 7. That he is not personating a wicked man, is certain from the whole tenor of the description. “What I hate,” says he, “that do I;” and “I delight in the law of God after the inward man.” To hate sin, and to delight in the law of God, belongs only to a person of real piety; nor is there any thing in the whole account, which would lead us to suspect, that he speaks of himself as being only in the first stage and entrance of practical Christianity.” pg. 50

The author of the Preface to this book believes the apostle Paul in Romans 7 is describing his Christian experience and not his pre-Christian experience as a Jew. The writer of the Preface writes later “In an unconverted person, there is but one nature, in a real Christian there are two; the one is called the flesh, the other the spirit. . .” pg. 58 Does a Christian have two natures battling in him-“the old man” and “the new man“? No, a Christian is a new man in Christ and the old man has died. I am alive in Christ and have died to the power of sin. Now that does not mean I do have to resist remaining sin. I am still in the flesh. I must put to death the deeds of the flesh and walk in the power of the Holy Spirit. But I am one person not two. I am a new creation in Christ. Now is a Christian his whole life  miserable because of indwelling sin? I think a Christian as he grows spiritually is focused on the Lord Jesus and not his sinfulness. A christian knows there is nothing in him that will make him right with God. A Christian looks to the Lord Jesus alone to save him and present him perfect before God on the Last Day. “The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God’s children. Now if we are children, then we are heirs-heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory.” Romans 8:16,17.

I think a true sign or evidence of spiritual growth is love for the Lord not always moaning how sinful we are. We are to have our eyes focused on Christ and not on our imperfections-lack of conformity to Christ. We will never measure up to God’s perfect character. We all fall short of the glory of God. We must look to the Lord Jesus to save us and perfect that work of salvation begun in us when we were regenerated “born again”.

I think why some Christians have the idea Romans 7 is describing a Christian experience and not a pre-conversion experience or Paul’s experience as a Jew under the Law is their understanding of Covenant Theology. Some Reformed folk in the Christian world are just Old Testament Jews. Years ago when we were members of a small Dutch Independent Reformed church the folks were proud to call themselves Abraham children’s. These Christians saw no difference between the Old Covenant [Mosaic] and the New Covenant. To these Dutch Reformed the NT Church was spiritual Israel. If you baptized your kids when they were babies they were now heirs of the Abrahamic covenant-all the promises of God. In the Old Testament the Jews circumcised their children, but now we baptize our babies with water. One eternal covenant and one eternal rite to become a member of the covenant people of God. The way one proves they are true elect covenant seed is by obeying the Ten Commandments [the Moral Law] out of thankfulness (as did the Old Testament saints like Moses and King David).

The problem I have with all this is that there is no eternal covenant of grace. Also the Law has been fulfilled in Christ. “So, my brothers, you also died to the law through the body of Christ, that you might belong to another, to him who was raised from the dead, in order that we might bear fruit to God. For when we were controlled by the sinful nature, the sinful passions aroused by the law were at work in our bodies, so that we bore fruit for death. But now, we have been released from the law so that we serve in the new way of the Spirit, and not in the old way of the written code.” Romans 7:4-6

“. . . But Paul us also asking: In what sense has the believer died to the Law in the body of Christ? This could mean that through the physical death of Jesus the Law ceased to have sway over those who would come to believe in Jesus. In any case, the death Paul refers to as a past event has released the believer from being under the power, control, or jurisdiction of the Mosaic Law. The believer is like the woman in the analogy, no longer subject to the old authority of the Law and now free to belong to another Law, the Law of Christ, which is this letter he speaks of as the obedience that flows from faith. Here it is enough to establish that Christians are not under the Mosaic Law, just as Paul said of himself in Gal. 2:19.” pg. Ben Witherington III “Romans”

When we were members of a Dutch Reformed Church every Sunday morning during the worship service the Ten Commandments were read-Exodus 20.  When we sang the praises of God we sang the OT Psalms. Basically our worship was OT worship and not New Covenant worship. These Dutch Reformed saw no glory in the New Covenant (Testament). That is why I tell folks today in Dutch Reformed churches there is ignorance of the true Gospel (Pauline theology).

It is going on 4:44 PM Sunday afternoon. I am down here talking to myself. I usually write what is on my mind. I am just a normal man seeking to live for the glory of God in a fallen world. I am living in the last hours of the american empire. Soon there will be wide spread panic and we will pray for the end of the world to come soon. Maybe the Lord will have mercy on us? Maybe the Lord has more work for the Church to do before the end arrives?

So what else is on my mind this afternoon? I am not sure if I can take a nap this afternoon? It is raining and snowing outside this evening. It is too ugly outside to take Rudy for a walk. Well I will close to regroup.

music: Royksopp “Junior”

Justification Viewed Holistically

Sunday, March 29th, 2009

It is 11:08 AM Sunday morning. I will quote what I read to my wife this morning as she did the breakfast dishes—

“A forensic interpretation of Paul’s doctrine of justification is a reductionist reading of the apostle’s teaching. This way of interpreting the matter oftens sets justification as a judicial act over against regeneration or the new life in Christ. This has led people to think that salvation is a legal transaction in which they might be delivered from the penalty of sin-be declared just-whether they were ever made righteous or not. Paul’s doctrine of justification is something more radical than that.

In Romans Paul reflected at least three dimensions of what it means to be justified. In Romans 4:3-8 being reckeoned righteous clearly means being forgiven. If someone says to a human being afflicted with sin as Paul saw it, “Your sins are forgiven; your guilt is taken away,” would that be good news? Yes and No! Yes, it is good news in that a sinful human needs forgiveness of sin and guilt. No, it is not good news because although one’s past sins are absolved by forgiveness, what will help the sinner with the problem of sin in the present? From Paul’s perspective, the sinner sins because he/she is in bondage to sin. Forgiveness does not take care of bondage! It is at this point that Paul’s understanding of justification as deliverance from bondage (Rom. 6:7) comes into play. God has not only forgiven our guilt but has also freed us from our bondage (=addiction) to evil. Now we have the freedom not to sin. Is that good news to the sinner? Yes and No! Yes, it is good news in that the self is now free from bondage to sin/evil in the present. No, it is still news that is deficient. What if the sinner is now free but impotent to do good? What is there that God has done or is doing that will enable the person who is forgiven and delivered to be faithful to God now and in the future? It is at this point that Paul’s understanding of justification as being made righteous (Rom 5:19) comes into play. By virtue of his righteousness (faithfulness to God unto death) in the days of his flesh, Christ Jesus, now risen from the dead, can live in and through believers, giving them his righteousness (faithfulness to God). Christ lives in and through believers with the same faithfulness to God that he manifested in the days of his flesh (Gal 2:20). It is this power that enables Christians to be faithful as well as forgiven and free. Now this is good news! The gospel is that God through Christ has done for us all that we could not do for ourselves. God has forgiven us, freed us; and is faithful through us. Since we are justified in all three senses of the word, we have peace with God (=a whole and harmonious relationship).” pg. 179,180 Charles H. Talbert “Romans” [Smyth & Helwys Bible Commentary]

music: Witch “Paralyzed”

am I ready to meet my Maker?

Sunday, March 29th, 2009

It is 10:30 AM Sunday morning. How to come to a place you are not aware of Time. I am always aware of time. Why? I do not know? We are surrounded by clocks.

Anyway here I sit in the basement feeling drained. I feel like going back to bed. Carol went to church this morning. Outside it is snowing and raining. It is suppose to be Spring and not Winter right now. The weather has been wet and cold lately.

I got up this morning around 8 o’clock AM. When I got up I found Carol looking through the Sunday morning newspapers.

This morning we had a big pancake breakfast. Now I feel too full of dough.

I have been reading commentaries this morning on the Epistle to the Romans.

“Paul’s Letter to the Romans: A Socio-Rhetorical Commentary” by Ben Witherington III

“Romans” by Charles H. Talbert

Last night I watched college basketball and read “The Magic Mountain” a novel by Thomas Mann.

music Tim Hecker “An Imaginary Country”

No plans for the day. Yesterday I took a nap from 3:45 PM till 6:15 PM. Right now I feel like going back to bed. Carol usually gets home from church around 11:30 AM. She usually goes to bed after lunch. Why stay up on this cold snowy dark day?

Well I suppose I will close to wander my cell. I should read the Bible and pray. This coming Thursday I have a stress test to see if my heart is ok. I told Carol the other day maybe I should write out a will in case I die during the stress test. She said the best place to have a heart attack is while having a stress test. It does happen men and women having heart attacks while having a stress test. Am I ready to meet my Maker?

keep watch

Saturday, March 28th, 2009

It is 3:30 PM Saturday afternoon. I am down in our basement talking to myself. Carol is sleeping.

It has been a normal day for me. It weird knowing I am living in the last hours of the american empire. Soon the President will send out the National Security Force to take over. Soon there will be widespread chaos and many will die here in good old USA.

I got up this morning around 6:33 AM. I got up to find my wife reading her Bible. I sat near her in the living room trying to wake up. I got myself a cup of coffee and looked through the morning newspapers.

Carol made a pot of oatmeal for a morning meal.

Carol needed a pair of dress pants so we went to a local Mall. We were home from a Mall around 11:30 AM.

I have spent the hours coming home from a Mall wandering the house. I am not in the mood to read. I have been carrying around a book titled “Private Thoughts on Religion” by Rev. Thomas Adams (1701-1784).

Well I will close to wait it out.

“If those days had not been cut short, no one would survive, but for the sake of the elect those days will be shortened.” Matt. 24:22

music: Arbouretum “Song of the Pearl”

I want to be like Jesus

Friday, March 27th, 2009

It is 2:07 PM Friday afternoon in world history. I ate a bagel for a meal with a cup of cold coffee. These days I can not eat cold sandwiches. I really do not need to eat. Before I go downtown this evening to have coffee with a friend I will eat some old food. Bless the Lord for old food. There will be new food in glory. “Then the angel said to me, “Write: Blessed are those who are invited to the wedding supper of the Lamb!’” Rev. 19:9

“Poems” Rimbaud

I catalogued some of my books today in LibraryThing site. My user name in LibraryThing is “bookmountain”. Now I have wireless I can get easy assess to my books to catalogue them.

I keep going over in my mind the discussion I had with the Calvinist at a local Christian bookstore. The fellow did not like me recommending he read St. John of the Cross. The fellow told me he believed the Roman Catholic Church was a cult. I told him I did not consider the Roman Catholic Church a cult. I told him there have been many godly Roman Catholic Christians in Church History. I told the Calvinist why not consider Southern Baptist Free willer’s Pre.mill. dispensationalists as a cult? In the end the Lord will judge who is one of His sheep. I told the Calvinist that there are not many Christians who believe in the Doctrines of Grace (the Five Points of Calvinism). Why not just believe the Bible to be the Word of God and not worry if someone holds to some brand of Calvinism? I ask the fellow how many Christians in the world right now are reading the writings of the 17th cent. English Puritans? How many Christians can afford to buy 17th. cent. English Puritan reprints? I told him to own a library full of Reformed literature is elitism. Only rich Christians can afford to have a room full of Reformed books.

The Calvinist in talking about the Roman Catholic Church and the Pope. I told him to look around the bookstore “Here is your Pope” the 17th. cent. English Puritan saints. The fellow even told me he would not buy a commentary on the Epistle to the Romans by a Wesleyan (Ben Witherington III). I told the fellow in so many words to get outside the box. God is bigger then a theological system. But I told the fellow if right now in his spiritual life he was getting blessed read the old Writers then go ahead. I am just not there any more. I have moved on. Even though I still read the old Writers sometimes. I read all kinds of books now I am outside the visible american church. But I am always reading something Christian. This year (2009) I want to read through the Bible.

I told fellow for me to be a Christian is to be normal. To me it is normal to read the Bible and walk with the Lord Jesus. To be a human being is to love the Lord. I am always who I am which in union with the Lord Jesus Christ.

The fellow also did not like it when I told him I see nothing wrong for men and women to spent their lives in contemplative prayer. There is the active life and the contemplative life. Not all are called to be busy in the world spreading the Good News. Some Christians are called to pray unceasingly. I told the Calvinist the best way to draw close to God is to pray. You can not have a true knowledge of God reading books. God must make Himself known in the center of our being. I told him to read “The Works of St. John of the Cross”. We truly know the Lord when we come to a place of unknowing.

The Calvinist as we talked for almost three hours said I should find a church. I told him I would not feel comfortable in most conservative Reformed churches. I could never go to a church that was not setting forth the biblical gospel. I am not into modern models of worship. I am into a simple almost primitive form of worship. I want to go back to the Early Church. Go back to the New Covenant days. I told the fellow if I was to go to church I will just get people upset since I am not one to keep my mouth shut. I am not into playing religious games. I am crazy. I am too intense for some Christians.

In my old age I told the Calvinist book clerk I could not take the pain of rejection again. I could not take seeing in the eyes of people fear or uneasiness at my approach. I rather be home wandering my cell seeking the face of the Lord. If I am wrong may His blood cover my sins.

I told the fellow that I no longer see preaching as a means of grace. Every minister when he preaches is just telling me how he personally lives spiritually. Why should I follow some stranger’s spirituality? I rather follow the Bible. I rather look at the apostle Paul. I want to be like Jesus.

We are all at different stages of spiritual growth. I am not going to force someone to be where I am at. We all got to read the Bible and seek to live accordingly.

I am going to close to rest my brain.

music: Damien Jurado “Caught In The Trees”

Simply to the cross I cling

Friday, March 27th, 2009

Rock of Ages, cleft for me,
Let me hide myself in Thee;
Let the water and the blood,
From Thy wounded side which flowed,
Be of sin the double cure;
Save from wrath and make me pure.

Not the labor of my hands
Can fulfill Thy law’s demands;
Could my zeal no respite know,
Could my tears forever flow,
All for sin could not atone;
Thou must save, and Thou alone.

Nothing in my hand I bring,
Simply to the cross I cling;
Naked, come to Thee for dress;
Helpless look to Thee for grace;
Foul, I to the fountain fly;
Wash me, Savior, or I die.

While I draw this fleeting breath,
When mine eyes shall close in death,
[originally When my eye-strings break in death]
When I soar to worlds unknown,
See Thee on Thy judgment throne,
Rock of Ages, cleft for me,
Let me hide myself in Thee

each one should test his own actions

Friday, March 27th, 2009
It is 11:30 AM Friday morning in the Flow. I have been up and about since 7:13 AM today. When I got up this morning Carol was sitting in the dark in the living room hold Rudy. Rudy got freaked out this morning by a big gray cat when he went out to pee this morning. All morning Rudy has acted withdrawn. Maybe the big cat attacked him this morning? Rudy is a big baby.

Carol just got back from having breakfast with a friend. She has gone to bed for the day.

I have done the usual things this morning like eat food, read my Bible, read OT theology, and write in my diary. I also sat in the living room dreaming listening to music.

Now I am down in our basement writing on my lap top drinking coffee and listening to the music of Apparat. Carol took Rudy for a walk before she went to bed, so I do have to go out into the dead american world today. I do feel restless, but it is a cold dark ugly day. There is no sign of warm sunshine outside today. No evidence of it being Spring time outside today either. A plain cold ugly day.

Last night I listened to music and read “Private Thoughts on Religion” by Rev. Thomas Adam (1701-1784)

www.hollandchristianbookservice.com

616-499-5744

The people who published this book by Rev. Thomas Adams are International Outreach, Inc.. Years ago I talked to the fellow who published this book “Private Thoughts on Religion.” I have other books in my book collection published by International Outreach Inc.—have these books—

“Knowing the Heart: Jonathan Edwards on True and False Conversion” Edited by William C. Nichols

“Sin, the Law, and The Glory of the Gospel” by Joseph Bellamy (1719-1790) With a Preface by Bernard Timmerman

“The Narrow Way: Examining Both Heaven and Hell and the Message of Eternal Salvation in Jesus Christ” by William C. Nichols

I have many gospel tracts and booklets written by William C. Nichols in my collection of Calvinistic literature. I collected for many years Calvinistic literature. Now I collect all kinds of stuff. Some might think I have gone off the deep end. I no longer worry about being “orthodox”. I just to want to follow the Lord Jesus Christ.

I use to collect books on True and False conversion. “Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it.” Matt. 7:13,14

I realize that I will never measure up, so I cling to the Cross of Christ. “Do you not know that in a race all runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize. Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last; but we do it to get a crown that will last forever.” 1 Corinth. 9:24,25.

I look to the Lord to save me every day.

So here I sit writing in blogs about my walk with the Lord Jesus Christ. Last night I noticed a friend in LJ took me off his friends list. People come and go. “I planted the seed, Apollos watered it, but God made it grow. So neither he who plants nor he who waters is anything, but only God, who makes things grow. The man who plants and the man who waters have one purpose, and each will be rewarded according to his own labor. For we are God’s fellow workers; you are God’s field, God’s building.” 1 Corinth. 3:6-9

It is now 12:12 PM Friday afternoon.

I failed to tell the Christian brother yesterday one of the several reasons I stopped going to church was that I HATE to explain myself or defend myself. I want to go to church and be loved unconditionally. I do not want to be judged. I know I have warts. I am crazy. Right now I have a big beard and very long hair. I look like a lost hermit out in the woods, but so what? We are all being made holy. The Lord is not done with me yet. “Each one should test his own actions. Then he can take pride in himself, without comparing himself to somebody else, for each one should carry his own load. Anyone who receives instruction in the word must share all good things with his instructor.” Galatians 6:1-5.

Well I am going to close to regroup.

music: Apparat “Wall”